Albert Evanston Goes to Film School

I was going through some old boxes in my closet today, and I came upon this. A little while back, Percy and I got into a tiff, so I left in a harumph and signed up for film school. This was my thesis film, "Albert Evanston Shaves His Balls." In it, I was trying to hint at the way people change their outward appearance to assimilate themselves into our image-obsessed society.

I'd spent most of my OSAP on cheap DVD's from HMV (3 for $30! Who could resist!), so I didn't have much left over for a budget. That's why I went with a "minimalist," feel for this one. I don't regret it though, because I've watched "Zoolander" and "Clean Slate," like, three times. Laugh Out Loud.

I was really happy with the way it turned out, despite some technical problems while filming. It turns out that grooming one's ball sack (or "Burlington Blindfold," as we call them here in Toronto) is harder than you'd think. However, everyone I know who's watched the film tells me that they wouldn't have noticed the glitches if I hadn't mentioned them. So, forget I said anything.

Anyway, I learned a lot at film school. Mainly, I learned that I should stick with acting, and leave the directing to pros like Percy. We've decided to make a new film, and a local TV station is planning to follow us around for a documentary. More on that to come!

Stay sexy,

ae

Humble Greetings, "Internet" Surfers,

Percival Johnson insisted that I give this whole "blog" thing a try. He's been trying to get us on the International Network or, "internet," for some years now. In fact, in 1995 he was so obsessed with exploiting the "Information Superhighway," that he, Studd Webb and I spent weeks just driving around looking for it. We didn't find it, but we did visit Whitby several times (Studd isn't welcome there anymore for reasons I won't get into now).

Then the other day, Percy picked up a copy of Wired Magazine, and read about blogs. They're a fast and easy way to share information on the "internet." When he found out that they were free, he was in.

For some reason, the task of writing a "blog" fell to me. Even though Studd clearly has more technical know-how than I do, Percy wanted me to do it. I think it's because I'm the classiest of the Chubby Productions crew, and he wanted to present the company in a suave light. Also, nobody else will touch Studd's computer (I'm wearing disposable gloves).

But I digress. In this space, I hope to keep you abreast (a breast?) of the goings-on at Chubby Productions and to give you a glimpse of what it's like to work alongside the Genius Filmmaker (his words) Percival Johnson.

I also hope to be able to answer questions and dispence advice. If you're a die-hard Chubby Fan, you clearly have many serious lifestlyle issues to work through. We're here to help.

So check back often and don't forget to "bookmark," this "blog," in your "World Wide Web Browser."

Let us ROCKETH ON!

ae