Studd? Why didn't you tell me about this???

Oh sure, it's a fine product, but where were these guys when I really needed it?

No seriously, check it out. This is the best new invention since the oozinator.

Two Gentlemen All Alone-a

You know, a lot of people come up and say to me, "Albert, it must be F-ing awesome being a porn star!"

Well, those people are partly right. It is awesome...part of the time. What people don't realize is that Percy can be very particular about what he wants and how he wants it, even if that means stepping on a few toes (or other body parts) to make that happen.

For instance, this clip is behind-the-scenes footage from our movie Two Gentlemen All Alone-a, in which Percy wanted to "explore new territory." The problem was, it called for Studd Webb and I to get a little bit more intimate than we're used to.

Now Studd and I are not picky. We'll do just about anything for Percy's vision. But we're not gay. Not that there's a damn thing wrong with being gay. As a matter of fact, gay guys make the world a better place. (It's a proven, scientific fact that homosexuality has cut greenhouse gas emissions by 8% since 1984. )

But the fact remains that Studd and I are not gay. But Percy convinced us that as long as we were acting, it didn't matter what we did. He persuaded us by noting that playing a murderer doesn't make one a murderer, so then playing gay guys having sex wouldn't make us gay.

Fair enough. Though, it didn't occur to us until later that the difference is that on-screen murder is generally simulated.

As you can see in the clip, things started very slowly. We're kinda used to the girls taking the lead on these kinds of things. So I decided to just go for it and, well...there you go.

Once again, NOT GAY.

Unless it's for money.

ae

Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain...no, seriously

Today, I thought I'd share with all of you lovely people some of the many behind-the-scenes moments that take place while making a Chubby film.

Usually before we shoot a scene, Percy likes to take some footage of the "set." In this case, we were going to be shooting a scene from Kramer in Kramer over in Percy's aunt's bathroom. Everything seemed okay except that we couldn't find Studd. He just...disappeared. So did his wi-fi laptop.

Percy's Aunt Flo doesn't let us film at her apartment anymore.

ae